Straithnairn finds Tinder
After Muaaz’s resounding success on Tinder in finding the ever lovely Heidi, the house went on a campaign to get Sam on there (partially for comic value and partially good intention). This started with a few apprehensive guilty feeling on Sam’s part and escalated to Tinder being installed on every compatible device in the house and some very pitiless judging, including an hour of watch Jacob say “no, no, erm… no, no OH GOD NO” much to our amusement.
Our foray into tinder taught us a few things: we are all incredibly shallow; I’m every so slightly cruel; saying you’re after “rough anal sex” gets you lots of hits; and Jacob really knows Sam’s taste.
Sam started in all innocence with nicely writing his bio and carefully choosing photo, repeatedly turning down offers for Charlote, Jacob and I to write it for him. Then after a while he became increasingly shallow and escalated to
“urgh she looks like shes put her make up on with a shovel…”
“…….and been hit with it”.
Then again Charlotte and I (particularly me) were no less cruel. I started with categorising every guy as: no; hell no; chav; posh boy; or meh. A few did pass muster and chatting to my matches was fun as it lead to the conundrum: what do you say to guys you have no intention of dating? We did also discover the naked guy who was slightly under endowed and the shirtless guy who looks like he’s wanking, many giggle ensued there, particularly after the realisation that these photos come off peoples facebook!
We also developed a few deductions about the photos:
1. Black and White photos are for posers
2. Men in swimwear no, women in swimwear a big yes.
3. Babies didn’t go well
4. nearly naked is not classy
5. no one just wants to see your tattoos rather than your face
6. why so many horses and sky divers
7. This is what people chose as the first thing to show the world!
8. Your description goes a long way, so write one!
We also discovered that you can find it rather hard to deter these people. Jacob added anal sex to his bio in an attempt to put women off yet still got a lot of matches. Although he did say he’d take an age range of up to 50+ for comedy value and found a 90 year old!!
In short if you want to have a laugh, meet soldiers, half dressed women, some hilarious photos and randy teenagers who’re never 18. Join Tinder with your mates.